I saw an article on Huffington Post yesterday about parenting overshares on Facebook. It led me to this blog called STFU Parents, and the blog is pretty funny, but it’s based on pretty harsh criticism of parent status updates to Facebook from an anonymous 30-year-old woman with no children.
I laughed at the article, especially since I have written status updates about most of the things on her list, and have probably blogged about all of them (loud people ruining nap time, bodily fluids, being pregnant, poop floaters in the pool or bathtub, and vomit).
The longer Facebook is around, the more people will criticize everything that people post there.
Because no one really cares yet we’re all annoyingly obsessed with our own lives and the lives of others. I think Facebook will eventually suffer the same fate as MySpace, and people will take the contact information of the handful of people they actually want to keep in touch with and call it done.
In the meantime, here are some arbitrary rules that make Facebook a little less fun for me.
- Don’t use a picture of your child as your profile picture: I did for almost a year, the same photo that is at the top of this blog. I will if I want to, my kid and my dog are cuter than me.
- Don’t have a joint Facebook account with your spouse or significant other: Facebook is probably responsible for more cheating today than any other website. Trust is important in a relationship, but the fact that you’ve opened your life up to everyone in your past makes any relationship vulnerable. My husband has the soundest argument for not joining Facebook that I’ve ever heard. “If I wanted to be in touch with all those people, I would be. My past is my past for a reason.” And the people said, “Amen.” If couples create joint accounts to safeguard their marriages and relationships, back the hell off of them and stop judging. Maybe it’s co-dependent, yucky couple behavior, or maybe it is just a smart decision for their relationship.
- Don’t talk about your kids too much or post too many pictures of them: For some of my family, Facebook is the only place they will ever see my child. I will post as many pictures as I want to until I get bored with Facebook and stop.
- Don’t post pictures of your food: Fine. I’ll just eat it. Maybe I’ll tell you about it, maybe I won’t. I probably won’t unless I’m making sliders and singing Backslider by the Toadies. If it makes me laugh, or I’m bored driving, you’ll probably see some random Facebook posts from me. Maybe even about what I eat or what my daughter has puked up in the backseat. Unfriend me if it annoys you. That doesn’t hurt my feelings.
- Don’t post song lyrics, quotes, or scripture: I will if I feel like it. Every time I hear the front porch song by REK, I want to post, “Give ‘em something to talk about on their way to Luby’s.” It’s kind of my summation of every status update on Facebook. It’s just something for everyone to talk about, laugh at, or make judgements about. Isn’t that half the appeal of it?
I’m not sure what my point is today. I just get sick of it more and more lately, and I think the best way for me to approach it these days is, “If you don’t have something funny to say, don’t say anything at all.” And, “LOOK, I love my kid!!!”
Children and puppy haters, please unfriend me.
I do think that the majority of people on Facebook have decent filters and can determine what is and is not appropriate to share, but who among us has not been guilty of the occasional overshare?
Here’s my own list of STF Up People:
- STFU Overzealous Pro-Lifer: Everyone has an opinion on abortion. Especially Christian, white men who have never, and will never personally experience an unplanned pregnancy in their own uterus. I get that you are appalled by it, but I really don’t want to see your dead baby posts every day. Thankfully, I can filter you when you won’t filter yourself.
- STFU People Who Can’t Write a Complete Sentence: An actual status update from someone who graduated from the same high school that I did, “good night fb goin to bed my back hurt real bad just pray i can get up move in moning cuz four babies tomm omg help lord can do it hopeful can tho cuz wher getting thing movin to… So nightnite.” When I read words put together like this, my mind shouts, “Oh Sweet Jesus, I seen it all, y’all.” And then I point an imaginary gun at my redneck past and town, and fire. Spell check bled all over this quote. I’m leaving it for your amusement.
- STFU I Only Post Cat Pictures with Funny Captions People: Enough of that.
- STFU Only Posting Ecard People: Enough of that too. Unless it’s funny. And then I’ll probably like it. Ecards are hilarious. Die trend, die!
- STFU Everyone: Maybe we should just all STFU? Except for Chris DeVoss. He makes me laugh every day on Facebook. And maybe Le Clown. I liked his page yesterday, and you should too. If you’re awesome on WordPress, and don’t post dead babies on Facebook, let’s be friends. Unless that’s weird and we’re not there yet.
Anyone else on Facebook you’d like to ask to shut up?
Do any other parents feel like they can’t post about their children as much as they might like to?
Your Facebook is yours, post whatever you want to there–who cares? Or delete it and STFU.
I’m considering option 2.