I had an interesting experience recently.
I was digging Christmas decorations out of the garage, and came across a box of old textbooks from college. As I lifted the box to move it, the bottom gave out and the books crashed in a dusty pile at my feet. After releasing a slew of obscenities at my inability to use packing tape properly, I noticed an odd book in the stack of finance and economics texts.
credit: clarissapinkolaestes.com
It was “Women Who Run With the Wolves,” by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.
It’s funny to me that this book popped out of a box I haven’t opened or seen in seven years because I also recently came across a letter my mom sent me about 12 years ago where she quotes from this book, and lays some life wisdom on me.
She mentions that it is one of her favorite books, and her letter is poignant and full of foreshadowing about the marriage I was about to enter into. Too subtle for my arrogant, “I know best,” attitude at the time, but it was there along with other powerful advice nonetheless.
I remember trying to read the book back then, and stopping because it reminded me of the Friends episode where the girls are reading “Be Your Own Windkeeper.” I remembering clearly thinking how lame it was that my mom was trying to warn me about men stealing my wind or taking over my life.
Female empowerment, who needs that?
I did–I needed a healthy dose of female empowerment and critical thinking, but I refused to accept my mom’s message at the time.
To the DeLorean.
I started reading the book again that same night. Sometimes life hits us over the head with the message we need to hear the most. Or hits us in the bare feet with the message while digging for Christmas in a pile of boxes, and I try not to ignore those moments anymore.
If someone tells me a book is their favorite, I have a tendency to read that book with a different lens. As I read it now, I’m trying to gain some insight into what it was about the book that spoke so powerfully to my mom.
And my answer so far has been everything.
The book analyzes myths and stories of the “wild woman” archetype.
It’s interesting, and it offers a deeper look at some of the old fairy tales from feminine, spiritual, and psychological perspectives.
One of those is the story of Bluebeard. I’ve read it before, and didn’t really think much about it.
Bluebeard was creepy and murderous, the sister who agreed to marry him was naive, the key reminded me of the story of Eve and the apple, and I didn’t take much from the story the first few times I read it.
I honestly remember thinking at first read through, that if the woman had just left the key alone and obeyed Bluebeard’s directive to not open the door, that she wouldn’t have been fighting for her life at all.
That thought pattern disturbs me greatly now.
Estes goes through an impressive and thorough analysis of this story, that I won’t get into today.
The highlights are: woman’s desire to change a man despite the obvious blueness of his beard, that younger women are easier to prey upon, and that there are things that you can’t un-know once you turn that forbidden key, but knowing them and recognizing them are imperative to your development.
In the end of the story the woman is rescued from Bluebeard by her brothers.
Estes says that this rescue is an example of what has been named animus in Jungian psychology.
The animus is, “a partly mortal, partly instinctual, partly cultural element of a woman’s psyche that shows up in fairy tales and in dream symbols as her son, husband, stranger, and/or lover, possibly threatening depending on her psychic circumstances of the moment. This psychic figure is particularly valuable because it is invested with qualities which are traditionally bred out of women, aggression being one of the more common.”
This was my first introduction to this psychological idea, and it’s fascinating to me, especially since I’ve had my older brothers throughout my life to “rescue” me. The young girl’s rescue was very literal to me in the story and not at all symbolic of something I needed to develop within myself.
The passage that resonated with me the most was this:
“The stronger and more integrally vast the animus (think of the animus as a bridge) the more able, easily, and with style the woman manifests her ideas and her creative work in the outer world in a concrete way. A woman with a poorly developed animus has lots of ideas and thoughts but is unable to manifest them in the outer world. She always stops short of the organization or implementation of her wonderful images.”
And finally after 800 words, I get to my point. I think my animus is poorly developed.
I’m not saying that I need to grow a pair of testicles or anything, but this is exactly what I’m trying to accomplish through reading and writing these days. To organize and implement the images that have come to mind. To think critically, to study myths, stories, and symbols and create my own. To take risks and stand up for myself. To know what I think about things and why I think them, and be okay with whatever conclusions I draw, even if no one agrees with me.
The book has sparked several thought tangents, ideas that I want to research more thoroughly, story ideas, and a different perspective on myths that I’ve never taken the time to consider before now.
So, Mom, thanks for the introduction to this book.
I’m reading it now.
I have no idea if it is still one of your favorites, but it’s quickly becoming one of mine.
Any other thoughts on the animus? On the book?
On my gross oversimplification of both the animus and the author’s message about Bluebeard?
I read this book in college. It was a class taught, possibly ironically, by the biggest misogynist I’d yet met. I kept this around for awhile but I think I recently got rid of it. Maybe not. I’ll have to check. But, a similar awakening happened to me a few years ago when I read Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique. It was dated and spoke more to my mother’s generation but I was quite taken by how much had not changed, how much I’d ignored in my life (as a daughter, as a wife, as a mother), and realized I really didn’t need to put up with the bull shit anymore. I could feel the boat of my life begin to turn and aim for a different shore (sorry – horrible metaphor!). I don’t even remember how I got the book – it was second-hand – but clearly it arrived when I most needed it, like Wolves with you. You/we only have to be open to the message when it comes to us. And then do something about it.
I’ve always been meaning to read The Feminine Mystique. Maybe now this will be my impetus. And I’ll add Women Who Run With the Wolves to the list. Hadn’t heard of this one before. Nice post, Rachelle.
Feminine Mystique is on my shelf too. Thank you, Carrie.
Great comment! I have Feminine Mystique on my shelf to read as well. I think you are right, we just have to be open to the message when it comes.
excellent post – lots to think about-I should pick up that book –I thought your analysis was spot on
It’s interesting for sure.
This book was a suggest reading for my anthropology class back in college, never read it. But the way you put it made me wanna read it, I may give it a shot and look for the e-book.
It’s heavy on the girl power, but the myth analysis is interesting and there is some great imagery in the stories.
Another great post — and how funny to see that book again after so long. I think we are given ‘tools’ in life when we are ready for them. Maybe the first go-round was just for you to see that this is available/exists. I think we relate to the psyche and our archetypes much more when we’ve had life experiences.
I think your animus is there, and developed. You are just consciously letting it grow (and be wild) now….
It was weird how it fell out of nowhere. I definitely think you are right about life experiences making this book more relatable. Even if I had read it all the way through back then, I didn’t have much of a life frame of reference for its message anyway. Thanks for your comment.
I don’t know much about animus, but I like the topic conversation and will have to do some more thinking…
“The highlights are: woman’s desire to change a man despite the obvious blueness of his beard, that younger women are easier to prey upon, and that there are things that you can’t un-know once you turn that forbidden key, but knowing them and recognizing them are imperative to your development.”
Interesting stuff, thanks!
Great job! Well written. I think I have too much animus! haha!
I’m like you, I have enough awareness to know that when a book falls in my lap or whatever, that it’s probably important for me to read. I take that sort of thing very seriously. It’s also cool when you think the universe is speaking to you.
I’ve seen that book before and always wondered what it was about. Moms are wise and know what’s going on. It’s good that you gave it a second look.
Lisa
Thanks, Lisa!
Cheers to too much animus
Fascinating. I want to read that book.
It’s interesting for sure.
Nice post, Rachelle. You make me want to check out this book. I think it’s interesting the way it ended up at your feet. That must be a sure sign. Thanks for sharing it here.
I do still think the book is valuable–no longer living with a Bluebeard (thank Goddess) has adjusted my view as well. You probably recognize those who used to populate my life and sadly, I let them define my existence; however, the recognition is a learning experience, while escape often takes a long, long time. Books like this one only resonate when the time is right for you–interesting how it re-entered your life. I’m glad that your Bluebeard is past tense as well. I am loving watching your growth as your writing evolves. As always, I think you are perfect just the way you are. Momma
Thanks, Momma.
Love you!
I am totally suggesting this book to my book club for next month.
It’s a pretty heavy read, and I’m still not all the way through it, but it is a good one, especially if your book club is mostly female. It addresses some pretty interesting stuff.
I stumbled upon your site by following another blogger with a substance abuse background. Wow, lighter and happier subjects here!
I’ve enjoyed what I’ve read on your site. I feel like I’m peaking in on the women’s playbook, reading your most recent post and checking out a few others. I need all the help I can get at the moment in that department.
Happy to help you ace your next interview should the need arise. That would be a pleasure and we would have a positive outcome I’m sure.
Cheers!
Happy you stopped by iceman! Sorry it took me so long to respond, I have been off the interwebs for awhile for the holidays, but I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
I think it would take some voodoo magic to help me ace an interview, but any tips are welcome
Thanks again for clicking over here.
Oh, ye of little faith! Here’s my first installment on interviewing.
It’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with you. Most interviewer’s come to the interview ill-prepared. It’s not intentional, they’re busy trying to keep/save their job. So you can feel at ease
Secondly, and maybe most important, they look at you and evaluate you on the basis of how you can help them keep their job or how can you help me save my job. Your part, and this is where its all about you, is to tell them what attracted you to their company and what talents you bring to the job. Say it like you mean it, impress them with energy and enthusiasm.
Interesting stuff, a bit deep for me though – I’m a bloke after all!!! I’m going to do some thinking and then maybe comment further, I think I have a strong opinion on this sort of stuff. I like the fact that you think a lot, cheers.
Haha! Yeah, I’m not sure how much this book would appeal to men, but the psychological aspects are true enough for either gender.
Thanks for your comment, and I’m sorry it took me so long to respond.
Cheers, and I hope you had a nice holiday season!
Sorry I’ve all but vanished on you, but there were reasons, and I’m back, since you are easily one of my top favorite bloggers for your skillful writing, your intelligence, and your great sense of humor. As well as your blogging buddy friendship. Pressed for time due to hungry wife syndrome, so I sped read your post – and even though I’m a guy, it sounds fascinating, and enough so that I’d like to read it. Happy New Year to you and yours, Rachelle. I’ll be back soon, and since you’ve been gone since 12/14. hopefully you’ll be back soon too!
Hi Chris!
I have been absent as well, but hopefully will be back soon with more brain fartings and humor.
Hope you had a wonderful holiday, and I will catch up on your stuff soon!
Cheers to a happy new year!
“To the DeLorean!” – That made me laugh out loud.
You’re a great writer, and I’m so glad you clicked over to my page today… it reminded me that I forgot to click the “follow” button when I was last here reading your musings. Now I have! Look forward to reading more.
So glad you followed, and I appreciate you checking back here! Looking forward to your writing this year as well, and more penguins which make me ridiculously happy
Hi
I’m 62, not “old” or “young”, just 62. It’s taken this long to come to terms with the fierce me. I can be really fierce, and society has made it so wrong for people, but most especially women, to be fierce, and strong, and stand up for themselves. When necessary I am, and I do. And it still feels a little uncomfortable, because I know others are intimidated by it and judge it, but at least that doesn’t hold me back anymore.
I’ve just read a bit of your blog. I like it very much. You write very well.
I’m so happy that you stopped by, and that you have found a way to be a fierce you when necessary. It is still not something I’m comfortable with, but I think it is an important quality to develop within yourself. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts here!
You’re welcome. I’m glad I stopped by too. I look forward to future posts.
PS Forgot to say I also read Estes book – yrs ago. Very helpful.
Trying to comment because I’m having WP trouble. Won’t let me like or comment
I heard that from a few people…I’m sorry that you were having trouble!