I have some random questions and thoughts today. If you have time, or anything piques your interest, feel free to answer in the comments section. I’d love to hear from you.
Can anyone teach me how to throw a Frisbee? Do you think dogs can be exasperated, because every time I try to throw ours for Frankie to fetch at the park, it flails end over end, and then lands half the distance I intended it to go before awkwardly rolling the last few feet. Frankie will run half-heartedly after it, aggressively pee on stuff on his way back, and then he gives me the, “You throw like a girl,” look and says with his eyes, “When is the big guy getting home from work?”
- I’m reading a book (trying to read a book) that is/was on the best seller list. On page 20, the author actually uses lol in the middle of her dialogue. This occurs three more times in the next 20 pages with two other characters, and now I don’t think I can finish reading it. When did lol become acceptable to say outside of the internet and an AOL chat room?
- What is the proper sorting pile for wedding photos from a marriage that is over and produced no children? Keep, Dumpster, or Keep and Hide. I still have the photos from my first wedding. They were insanely expensive, and some of the people who attended that wedding are no longer with us. There is also a stupid big, nicely framed bridal portrait of me at age 22. I’ll never look that young and fresh again, but I will also never hang it in my home for obvious reasons, the least of which is lacking the ego I imagine it would take to display such a large photo of oneself. So, what to do with them, what to do?
- Where the fuck is Woody’s hat and my daughter’s other pink Croc? Two things that have inexplicably disappeared from my house.
- What is this demon allergen that has blown in over the last few days, and when is it going to leave so I can breathe again?
- Why would someone name a children’s show Doc McStuffins and expect me not to laugh?
- Is shooting nose spray in each nostril, bending over to keep it from running down the back of your throat, then standing up too fast and getting dizzy anything like doing whip-its? Because I think I just did a whip-it. If you’re old enough, you’re singing a Devo song now aren’t you?
- Seriously, I’m not sure I can finish this list. I think I’m high.
- Do you ever have days where you wish you could still smoke a bowl and listen to music with your skin for a few hours. What soundtrack would you choose? What? No? …never mind. Pretend I never said that.
- I recently got my feelings hurt because I wasn’t invited to a baby shower that I didn’t really want to go to. So what’s it like to have a penis? I bet it’s neat.
Hope you all have a great weekend!